Am I the only one who gets a little bit bored with hearing news stories starting with ‘a new study has found that’ and then the most mundane, ridiculous or obvious idea being stated. Over the last few days I have heard on television that 1) Masturbation increases your chance of getting cancer, 2) the reason that human beings blush is to try to stop them from lying and 3) a regular run through the park improves your mental health.

Rarely are the results from such studies actually interesting or provide interesting proof of previously unknown gems of information. The subject matter is normally laughable, and it sickens me to hear some posh news reader stifling their giggles as they tell me that ‘refusing to have sex on the first date increases the chance of finding a good man.‘

It just angers me that scientists work hard to earn a degree and then waste their time and money given to them by the government to find out things that, in all honesty, people don’t really give a shit about, or alternatively, already know. I’m no scientist, but if I were, I think I would be more focused on looking for cures and ways to prevent death, but whatever. Suit yourselves.

Click here to read the story, if you want to grow angry with the human race. Congratulations Scotland, for you are home to a complete and utter douchebag.

“A woman was caught drink-driving after a distressed child was seen shouting “stop mummy driving” and banging on the windows of a car.”

Nice, real nice. I hate people. Why are these people allowed to conceive? Idiots should have their reproductive organs ’snipped’ at birth to prevent them from reproducing. Then, if such a travesty should occur for whatever reason, the children should be snatched up by social services. Harsh, perhaps, but things like this anger me. My cousin is unable to have children, and she would be a brilliant mother. Yet some people just reproduce non stop, not considering whether or not they can actually raise these children, or altering their behaviour once the child is born.

Don’t let me stop you risking your own life, that would hardly be a tragedy, but leave your kid out of it.

When I’m irate I tend to type rubbishly.

Melon that tastes like lemon to go on sale at Tesco.
Click here to read the story.

???? – Why?

If you want a lemon, buy a lemon. If you want a melon, buy a lemon. WHY IS THIS NEWS?!

“The UK melon market is valued at £125 million a year, according to retail analyst TNS. ” – Who is buying all this melon?

News is new information on current events which is presented by print, broadcast, Internet, or word of mouth to a third party or mass audience. Simple.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080723/ap_on_fe_st/odd_mystery_noise;_ylt=ApMesOKIYlDBPe6kdV.E7LPtiBIF

That is not news. That is the sort of story that a friend might tell you on a bus when there is nothing else to talk about, and even then you probably wouldn’t really care. A mystery noise? Get over it.

Sorry, angry. Well, angry is a bit strong. I’m in one of those moods.