So I was wandering around Flickr (metaphorically of course) and I came across this image:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sprintist86/1559463340/

(tried embedding the image, but WordPress was being lame. Click the link and you’ll see it.) 

Anyway, to me, this ‘inspirational quote’ did not inspire me in the slightest. If anything, it made me question my existence and how (un)successful I have been as a human being. So, thanks for the inspiration.

I hate the thought that I am halfway through my life. Maybe it is because I’m quite young, but I feel like I’ve achieved so little and if you were to tell me that this was 50% of my life, I’d feel horrible! I understand that for all I know, this is 99% of my life, but it’s just not the sort of thing that you want to think about.

I think another factor which contributes to me not loving the idea, is that all the things which society tells me I should have, I don’t. I’m a teenager, so I’m supposed to be absolutely loving life, living each day as if it’s my last. I’m meant to know the ‘best day of my life.’ I don’t have a clue when I was at my most happiest. I just don’t know! I don’t think that that is too strange, maybe it is, but I cannot pinpoint a time when I can say “that was it, that was the best time of my life.”

It’s not my intention to cause offense to the person who wrote that ‘life is a cycle, you’re only halfway through.’ I just think it’s age specific. I might be wrong, and it might be a concept that I will never grasp, but there’s only one way to find out. (FIGHTTTT. Harry Hill reference for the win!)

There is so much hate in the world, so so much. It seems ridiculous, the amount of time we spend loathing people, objects and situations. It’s such a waste, and although most are aware of it, it is practically impossible to control.

Ok, so you can opt for the ‘positive outlook’ way of life and start seeing that glass as half full, but for most, the glass remains completely empty. A positive outlook on life will only get you so far anyway: all it takes is one hard-hitting reminder of all the ways in which life can screw you over and it’s back to phase one.

The way I see it, life is shit. Life is one pointless, irritating moment after another, occasionally broken up by that one glimmer or hope or happiness. Regardless, it is the life we lead, and life is all we have. There is life, and then (as far as we know) there is nothing. Nada. So you can sit around bitching and moaning, or you can accept the fact that life is far from perfect.

Even as I sit here typing away, I am completely aware that I am a hypocrite. All I have to do is think of the countless times that I myself have cried, whined, sulked and shouted about how ‘unfair’ life can be. Yet now, because I’m aware of it at this time, I’m being a Martyr. But hey, that’s life, and I’m prepared to deal with it.

The point I had in mind when I started typing this, is how ridiculous the whole concept of self loathing is. As if we don’t have enough hatrid and bad attitudes to deal with in our life, we occupy our own time insulting ourselves? It’s a lose lose situation! Yet again, although I am perfectly aware that I find myself hating my actions on a fairly frequent basis, I still realise the ridiculousness of  it all, so therefore I must be aware of it in my subconscious at all times. It’s so stupid, it just gets me mad.

Life is just a string of inconveniences, but it’s also all that we have.

When I get passionate about something, my sentence structure becomes erratic.