This is a part of my series ‘the Unhelpful genie’
Aladdin rubbed a shiny, antique, golden lamp; I rubbed a £9, shitty, plastic lamp from Matalan. Aladdin travelled deep into the unknown and risked his life for his lamp; I got a lift from my Mum to our local town. You get what you pay for.
So, long story short, I rub my lamp accidentally one day, and out pops a genie. I know what you’re thinking, some huge, big, interesting thing with a funny voice like in the movies. Not quite.
Immediatly, I start thinking up my three wishes, when the Genie speaks. “Don’t think you know the drill, sister. I have a few questions for you.” I looked at him, surprised and concerned. “I’ll give you choices, but your wishes are far from unlimited.” Oh joy. Turns out my Genie is in charge here, and he essentially just makes me choose my fate by giving me two options.
Which would you rather be for 48 hours? A man, or an animal.
Since this is quite a broad questions, there are several variables which depend on my answer. Can I choose any animal, or is it luck of the draw? Do I have my own brain if I am an animal? Can i speak as an animal? If I choose to be a man, can I choose who exactly? Am I still myself, just in male form?
So let’s say, the answers to the above are yes you can choose, you have your own brain, you cannot speak, you can choose who and you are yourself. Let’s get considering!
I am instantly drawn towards animal, purely because it is so different. Being male would be exciting and new, but you are still a human being, whereas being an animal is a whole other species. However, not being able to talk could be a problem, and also, there is the threat of the unknown. If I were to be a wild animal, I wouldn’t know how to hunt or look after myself. Therefore, I would probably choose to be someones pet. Although, when I start imagining being somebodies pet for 2 days, I’m not excited. When I imagine being a man, I am excited.
Ok, so there’s the obvious. I’m not going to act all mature: part of the attraction towards being male is that I would like a penis. There, I wrote it: penis. I just want to know what it feels like to have one… I don’t even know. Don’t judge me.
As for choosing any man I could be, I’d just want to be average (but good looking.) I’d want to know what the average boy goes through day to day. I think it would also help me generally to get to know how a boy thinks and reacts in certain situations, and I’d gain an insight.
So that one was pretty easy, even if my gut reaction was completely wrong.
Man.
